It all started before this morning, but that is where I will start. I’m having some electrical problems, which I don’t think I will be able to get looked at until Wednesday or later, so I was worried about getting up on time. I was also worried about my mom’s birthday — it’s her 75th. I wanted to get her some flowers in lieu of a card and searched for a florist on Westheimer (which will become clear later) in stead of remembering that where I was going at 7:30 this morning was right by all of the 24/7 florists around the Med Center.
This morning was the Urban Harvest Fruit Tree Sale. We went last year and arrived a little before 9:00 a.m. That was a big mistake. This year, Roberto got there at 20 till or earlier. I got there late because I poked around the internet looking for a florist. Like an idiot.
In comparing the two experiences, you either wait at the beginning or the end. I prefer waiting at the beginning. We had some delightful conversations and advised some newbies. It was fun waiting in line talking about fruit trees, vegis, pups, varmints, and marathons, among other things.
After a couple of hick-ups, we got in and snagged the persimmon, poms and fig that I wanted. Paying was a breeze — no line for the prepared and determined!!!! And I resisted the urge to get more just because I could.
We wrapped on of the poms for mom and then ventured through the streets to the Fannin flower district. Roberto found the place he was thinking of and we got a beautiful vase with roses and trim for mom’s birthday. We then set out to find Little Napoli for brunch.
I can’t tell you everything that passed in getting to the point that we agreed upon this one restaurant. In hindsight, I wish I would have insisted upon my choice, which was Hungry’s. But that would have made it more of my day than it was. And as my mother’s daughter, I think it was my day.
I don’t think the restaurant let us do anything Hungry’s wouldn’t have, and the food would have been better, and the atmosphere would have been classier, though the price would have been the same. This one choice was my mistake. Had I insisted on Hungry’s, perhaps my oldest niece would have been spared.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I witnessed the first time my mom saw my oldest niece cry and did nothing. My mom has even criticized my sister-in-law for doing the same thing in the past. What my mom did was cold and it was calculated for effect. I know this because I know my mom.
My mom has always made a big deal about her birthday. None of her children do. Perhaps that is because her birthday has to be JUST SO, and our birthdays are optional. Her grandchildren’s birthdays have always been about score keeping between in-laws, so I have been happy as the girls get older and don’t have to deal with that.
After the shaming of the oldest and favorite, my mom was left with enjoying the non-oldest-favorite of her grandchildren. We went to the Museum of Natural Science. I asked the middle one if she had learned about the planets. She knew them in order from the Sun and knew about poor Pluto.
I told them to look for Pluto on the ground. I asked the littlest one if she knew what a “P” looked like and she promptly told me she was in first grade. OK sweety!
We had found Saturn by the time my sister walked up after parking, and the middle one showed her Pluto. We got all the way up to Earth and almost to the sun before we were distracted by the fountain — granny likes fountains — and the coast of Texas. While we were finding the star for Houston, another little girl somehow joined us as I was explaining it. She was very talkative, but my littlest niece didn’t like sharing attention. This happened more than one, and I wonder if my mom felt the same family pull I did, or if she was too into her perceived slight to notice. I don’t know. You’d think someone who has been on the planet for 75 years would be the adult and not pout. You would be wrong today.
We enjoyed the butterflies and the sundial. We enjoyed the cupcakes and drinks.
When my sister said what is next, I knew she was reaching out for help for the rest of the day, but I could go no further. My mom is not my problem. I don’t live with her like my sister does by choice, nor am I her golden one, like my brother is. I cannot make her happy.
She was not going to be happy today, but I broke that wall down, if for a brief time. It took will that I possess just a little of. I pulled in all of my chits today for a very long time.
I really want to send a message to my oldest niece. She’s not really old enough to deal with what she had to today. I told her that it would be ok.
Sometimes I don’t know how to deal with adults who just want to punish each other. I can only do so much. I don’t really think my mom is worth all of the drama.