Happy Christmas!

I’m a non-believer, except for Santa, whom I have been following on NORAD.  (As I post this link, he’s in a city I have visited.  I hope to do more traveling in the future — I don’t want to wait until I’m a little old lady like my mom.)

ANYWAYS:  The electricity went out briefly and after the refrigerator scare of Wednesday, I worried over the little fridge which now holds the freaking bird I roasted today.  I even watched a freaking Jamie Oliver video, hoping for help about carving this damn bird he vaguely told me how to make to little avail.

I wanted the greatest Christmas turkey ever.  Perhaps I should have googled Ramsey.

I’m ok with vague while cooking and Oliver is that.  BUT how do I carve this bird with stuffing under the skin?  And will it kill my family if I do?

ANSWERS I demand!!!1!11!1!!1!

There are none.

So.  Tomorrow will either be a nice dinner or an unintentional mass suicide.

Pre-emptably, I leave the outside kittens to Michael Berry, Dora to Roberto, and let Tammy and Murphy roam free in the neighborhood.  Cisco and Caroline will eat what is left.

I hate Christmas.

It’s all about money and who gives who what crap.  Last year, I gave my sister a computer.  It took her almost a year to even plug it in.  Seriously.  At least the bitching about email stopped.  She had the solution in front of her.

Tomorrow will be yet another day that I gratefully play my part:  the worst person in the world to my sister, alternately the hero or clown depending on the turkey, and some time funny person to my nieces.  My brother and sister-in-law, as well as my mom, just try to dodge the hate coming from my sister.  I’m ok with this.

Sunday, I’m back in the garden and front yard, working hard and planting cabbage and lettuce.   Monday, I start the fruit tree beds.

Live through tomorrow.

Happy Christmas!

5 responses to “Happy Christmas!

  1. I must admit this was funny. You’d be more persuasive if you used humor more often, rather than just spewing anger. But, back to the point, this was funny.

  2. But what about when you spew anger & are funny at the same time? Or does one cancel out the other (for certain readers)?
    Thanks for Dora (your preemptive will) but no way are Tammy, Murph, & the inside kittens going to roam free (and no way in H-E-L-L does Michael Berry get his cat-hating mitts on the oks)

    • I think I am mostly funny when I spew anger. To each their own. I think Berry differentiates between when I just poke fun and when I poke him with humor.

      And as if you would ever think that you wouldn’t get all of them, Dora, Caroline, Cisco, Tammy (what was I thinking?), Murphy, Harry, Toes, Dot, Fanny, Mommy, Baby, Atilla, and Robyn if I die before the 5th.

      Dude, you had better hope I live for a long time.

  3. I guess I could always take them on the road as some sort of circus … we could all wear matching vests and top hats! …

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