Reflection

I’ve often wondered when the facility that I can recall bad memories will be out-stripped by the good memories flooding back in every day.

I think I am reaching that point.

Today was a good day.  I got all of my shopping done and am now just waiting on the online purchases to get here — I’ve cut it close, but even if the big gifts don’t make it, I have backups.

Building new memories and letting go of the most troubling ones is not something that I think I can do over night, but I’ve made a start.  Roberto is right — making memories of family and togetherness is what I should hold onto.  Those sweet girls — my nieces — are the future of our family.  While at times their idea of me is something of a clown — they count on me for funny stories — I teach them things that they don’t get to experience in their suburban lives.  I’m a little exotic for them.  Like when I gave them trinkets that my students had given me.  I’m pretty sure that my oldest niece is the only girl in her school with a shoulder bag from Kazakhstan.  My middle niece screamed last Saturday that she wanted me to be her teacher.  Sadly, I had to tell he since she speaks English, that wouldn’t happen.  But in another way, I teach her and her sisters every time I am with them.

Better memory building is what I need.  It’s what I am doing.  I never want to forget my dad.  Perhaps I can imagine him with us on these great granny cooking days, too.  Perhaps I can see him with the girls.  My dad was always the funny one.  Perhaps I am filling in that missing piece — as best I can.

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