Looking back on it now, could I have made it through the week, the days without it? I wanted to save what was in a freezer that I initially didn’t think I needed. Was it worth the noise and the stink and the annoyance? I don’t know. Is there a way I can avoid using it in the future?
Now, with the lights on and the fridge clean, I think: could I have finished Nixonland? Could I have taken the pups on more walks? Could I have avoided the neighbor related meltdown? Is the food in the freezer worth running that generator and getting entangled with the neighbors?
Going back to work today, I thought I would offer my generator to someone who didn’t have power. Most were appreciative, but wary. Perhaps I should have been as well. I was doing ok before I got hooked. I was reading and walking the pups, and even though I stank — no one that I care about cared about that.
It was a mistake.
I’ll maintain it. The next time this sort of situation comes up, I’ll sell it. I’ll feel guilty because it puts so much into the air, but I won’t use it again. I’ll make my own way.
I would love to go off the grid — put solar panels on the new roof that I will have to arrange for, but I don’t know how I can do it.
I took Tammy out for a walk this evening. We came across a little McMansion in our neighborhood. Being nosey we looked around. It would be nice to start with a clean house with no problems. However, having been in my neighbor’s houses, I think I can get this one in good shape now. I’m low on finances, but I can do it.
This blog thing may be changing, too (again, I know).
I don’t make much, but maybe I can make a difference, in my own way.
I regret getting the generator. I regret going in on the neighbor’s generator. I could have made it without either.