Monthly Archives: February 2012

The Only Part of My Childhood I was Allowed to Have

I left my family home abruptly and could only take what my friends and I could carry.  At that point, I didn’t much care about all of the things that represented my childhood.

Over the years, my nieces inherited most of my childhood possessions, including  clothes — especially the ones that meant something to me, like my recital outfits and prom dresses.

A few years ago, my mother and sister gave me a box containing the few things I guess they couldn’t find any use for in their drive to buy my nieces’ love.

Earlier this month, I burned the bridge I had with those two women.  Oddly, I felt no remorse or guilt.  Why hadn’t I done it years earlier?  I don’t know.

Today, in doing my BIG TIME spring cleaning, I came upon that box.   What was inside made my decision solid.

It contained music from when I played, a diary, a couple of little notebooks, a diary,  a small Gideon New Testament bible, an empty bottle from Baylor’s 1980 Cotton Bowl, along with some things that clearly weren’t mine.  (Those two women have always had a habit of treating me like a Sand Dollar drop off.)

In one little notebook, my 11 year old self wrote about “daddy’s day” and needing to “rap” his present.   In the diary, my 12 year old self wrote about coming home late from a game because a friend’s mom was late, but that “mother wasn’t mad for too long.”

And that pretty much explains my life.  I loved my dad.  When he died, everyone fell apart, except for me, except for a while.  I stayed at the hospital and made the decisions.  I had always known that I was the least loved of us kids.  My dad was in Louisiana on duty in the Army when I was born, so he never really took to me, but I always loved and idolized him.

My mother has always been angry.  My sister has been angry for a long time, too.  Both of them have mostly been angry at me when they don’t have a better target.  Up until a few weeks ago, I had always tried to get them to love me.  Now I know it’s just not worth the effort.

Since I had that realization, I have been working on the house in order to make it easier to have people over.  With Dora wanting to kill Tammy, I have had to keep them separated.  The house arrangement has worked well for that, but it makes having company just about impossible.

I really want to get this done as soon as possible because my middle niece has asked several times over the years to come over.  I’ve always explained the pup situation to her, but now that just doesn’t work, and I can see how she hasn’t been able to understand it.

I will chronicle it as best I can here.  I really hope that I can invite her over when the garden is in it’s prime.

Are They Really Catholics?

I’m only asking because that guy who inherited his Christianity through his father, Franklin Graham, isn’t so sure that President Obama isn’t a secret Muslim.

I thought Newt and Rick were Catholics.  All the Catholics I work with (and there are more than a few) had ashes on their foreheads today.  Aren’t Catholics supposed to leave the ashes on until they wear off or do both of those guys secretly have one of these?

I’m thinking neither of them did it.

I’m thinking they care about Ash Wednesday about as much as they cared about MLK Jr. Day.

Contrived

Michael Berry made the news again.

I find his “performance” this morning, repeated this afternoon, to be contrived.

Think about it.  He hopes that this lashing out will be the big bang of the story.  When the justice comes,  Michael Berry will be long gone :)

This Shit is Serious

You know Clear Channel is shaking in its boots when they pull both Michael Berry’s Facebook and Twitter spots.  (Clear Channel makes their personalities flog those two links like nothing else.)

I wouldn’t be surprised if the man is wiped clean from the KTRH site by the morning.  You know, like Clear Channel did with Chris Baker :)

This couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.

Waiting to Get Started

I have this plan for my house, but other things keep popping up.

For now, we are waiting on the TV to get here from Mesquite, TX.  Hopefully it will be here tomorrow.

I’m also looking for a dry weekend to call out an electrician . . . the juice has been out in part of my house for a couple of months now.  I can deal, but I want to get it taken care of.  Work and dental work have interfered with doing that.

Also, once again, I want to post more pictures of the garden.  Tomorrow is the day I turn this all around!

 

 

Newt!

I want this to go on for the next few months.

via

Free at Last

I’m looking forward to my life without the one person who has dominated it for so long.

It started last Friday and has been better than I expected.

From now on, I am living this life without that one very negative influence — and I cut it off just in time.  No vacations with my mother.  Ick.

Things just got a lot brighter.